Title: Last F’day Night
Disclaimer: Nikki & Nora are the property of Nancylee Myatt and Warner Bros. Television. No infringement intended.
Fandom: Nikki & Nora
Pairing: Nikki/Nora, Nikki/Nora/OFC
Summary: Nikki, Nora, Nora’s family and a Las Vegas wedding or two, what could go wrong?
A/N (docwho2100): Text in italics represents music being played on a radio or thoughts and conversations that cannot be heard by others, longer scenes are flashbacks.
Now, understand, this is a farce, it is not meant to stick to canon Nikki and Nora voice, it is not meant to be serious and plausible (many will argue N & N would never do what is written in this story). The plot has loopholes galore and is so cliché in places, just enjoy it for what it is
A/N (whedonist): What she said.
“Jeezus, who does construction at this hour?” Nora grumbled as she tried to turn and get more comfortable until her nose jammed against something hard and metallic. “Gah, fuck,” she spit out, flailing her leg, only to have that hit against something as equally hard. The echo bounced around her as she rolled left, realizing the surface against her cheek was wet. Definitely, not the usual dry, comfy bed. Blinking, she looked at what she had rammed into and slowly made it out to be a...
“Nozzle?” she sat up, groaning as the room spun, Nora twisting and clinging to the side of the tub to keep from falling back. Panting as her equilibrium steadied, she blinked, looking around, somehow managing to piece together that she was in a bathtub. “A very large, circular bathtub with,” she looked at the assorted faucets as she tried to sit up more. “Ok, maybe I should say fancy ass Jacuzzi. I don’t remember this in our room.”
A knocking sound pulsed through her head. “Hang on!” she yelled, then winced, regretting her volume. She tried to stand, but found the maroon and black floor of her makeshift bed slippery. Hooking an arm over the edge, she managed to haul her body over the side, flopping to the floor.
“Shit, Nora, you better not do that again. Damn,” she grabbed her left arm as it hurt, her shoulder flaring with pain. Looking up, her eyes followed the design of the assorted track lighting, noting there seemed to be three rows, one set of them had colored gel over the lights, she rubbed at her shoulder, poking a bit and finding she was very sore along her arm, back and side. Nora frowned as she held her hand above her, noting bruising and sores on her knuckles. “Great. I’m in some rock star dance floor bathroom, beat up and,” she sat up and looked down, “wearing a black tuxedo.”
She crawled over to the black and gold marble sink, hefting herself up. “Well, damn,” her stunned voice barely filled the cavernous bathroom as she squinted and blinked, her eyes blurry as she tried to make sense of her reflection. She focused first on her hair, trying to remember why there were black streaks in her tousled and tangled hair. She began batting at her bangs to make them lay flat, the blonde and black strands refusing to go down as they stayed in a half salute cowlick position.
Nora coughed, finally taking notice and making a face at the foul taste in her mouth. “When did I put on a tuxedo?” she muttered, another knock at the door stopping her from really getting a good look at herself as she tumbled from the bathroom, walking across a large sitting room to get to the hotel door.
She opened the door, staring as a huge basket filled the door frame. “Delivery for Mrs. Delaney.”
“Um, my mom and dad’s room is on the 15th floor. You got the wrong room.”
“Are you Nora Delaney?”
Nora wiped at her nose, and tried to swallow; she was sure she was blasting the poor employee with her bad breath every time she spoke. She tried to step back a bit, “Um, well, yeah.”
“I have a delivery for you as well as your messages,” the hotel employee held up the basket, just standing, peering around it as Nora just looked at the man.
After many moments of awkward silence, the man cleared his throat. “May I bring it in?
“Oh, yeah, sorry, bad headache.”
The employee chuckled as he gently brushed by Nora, pausing at the gold and green Italian marble table to the side, placing the gift basket and then a stack of notes and envelopes beside it. “In my 20 years here, I’ve seen a lot of headaches.”
“Oh, yeah, um...” Nora leaned forward, a bit off balance as she tried to read the nametag, she frowned as the tag had a different casino name than where they’d checked in yesterday. “So, yeah thanks, Mr. Concierge”.
The employee laughed again, “That’s my job title, I’m Terrance.”
“Oh, um yeah, I knew that...” Nora pinched the bridge of her nose, before pulling away and rubbing her fingers a bit as they felt greasy. She looked at her fingers, noticing a faint red smudge, she rubbed at her face again, puzzled by the red stain.
“Yes, well, I better leave you to get cleaned up.”
Nora frowned, she knew she had a bad taste in her mouth, but how bad did she look?
Terrance noticed the expression and chuckled, “I’ve seen worse. But you have the classic signs of a newlywed. Smeared makeup on your face, collar and assorted places. Course the rips in the suit are not as normal. I hope you did not blow too much on the suit if it was a rental,” the concierge smirked as he poked at a number of stains on the tattered shirt and the end of the sleeves.
Nora blushed, noticing them, squinting through her still blurry view. Her brow drew down as she tried to make sense of the word Terrance had used, newlywed. ~Why the hell did he say that... I thought Jesse’s wedding was tomorrow... did I get that drunk at the bachelor party?~
“Well, have a good day, enjoy the gratitude of our casino, its owner, and staff.”
“Um, oh...” Nora was drawn from her musing as she realized the employee should be tipped. She began rummaging through her pockets. She pulled out a few receipts, and other odd objects. “Ow, shit,” she pulled her thumb out quickly, a toothpick umbrella stuck in her thumb.
“Oh, hey, you must have been sucking down the Volcanoes over at Sailor Jim’s Bar,” Terrance could not help but laugh.
“Yeah, sure,” Nora muttered, no idea who Sailor Jim might be. She tried her other pocket, pulling out some colored paper that upon closer examination was some form of foreign currency. She dropped that on the table along with a few other items, dumping them on the table too.
She felt her chest, and then opened the jacket, digging in the upper inside pocket. She pulled out a handful of casino chips. “Um, can you take chips?” she squinted trying to see how much they were for and where they were from. She shrugged and dropped two in Terrance’s hand having made out a 5.
“Well, I can get my friend to cash, holy shit, Maria was right, you are big spenders.”
Nora wobbled a little, her stomach suddenly waking up and in a not happy mood. “Wha?”
“Um, not that I enjoy being honest, but these are $50,000 chips from the high stakes poker room over at the LeFrance. Only the most exclusive get in there.”
“Um, well exclusive is kinda not my department, Nik usually does the tip and the money...” Nora trailed off, deciding to drop the sore point about money. "How much did you say?" she looked at the chips, trying to wrap her brain around the amount of money she was holding in her hand.
“Well, he must enjoy the high stakes. You need a bank of a couple million just to get into that room. Tell your husband thanks and you both have a great day,” Terrance started to back out, stopping as Nora reached out and grabbed his lapel. “What did you say?”
“Um, I was just wishing you and your new husband congratulations. The chapel dropped the certificate off and I brought it with your messages and notes; plus everyone is buzzing about the boss’s new favorite couple, you two are mysterious agents or something. Um, I can send up some alka seltzer and aspirin if you want?”
“Yea, whatever,” Nora let the man go, stumbling back over to the table, not even hearing the door close as she frantically spread the pile of notes and papers out, her fingers latching around one and pulling it up. Her eyes caught the business address on the envelope, ‘Pope Johnnie’s Wedding Chapel’ as they flitted to the center of the envelope, fixated on the typed words. “Mrs and Mr. N. Delaney”
Nora turned the envelope over, ripping it open. “Damn it,” she stuck her finger in her mouth, sucking at the papercut that her frantic action had caused. Ignoring the sting, she finished opening the letter, taking out the heavy cardstock grade paper.
She closed her eyes, peeking open only one eye as she read the certificate out loud
“The Reverend Pope Johnnie wed on this day in holy matrimony Nora M. Delany and Nick C. Beaumont. May your union last for all eternity.”
She trailed off as she looked at the certificate, noticing the time was listed as 3 am. Her heart was still racing, although the fact a familiar surname was next to hers helped to quiet it, somewhat.
“Nick? Nikki? Alright, alright, no panicking, just need to,” she looked at the basket and then down at her clothes, grimacing as she realized she was not wearing pants, only a pair of Planet Hollywood Boxers, “figure out why I am here and looking like this.”
She closed her eyes, trying to clear her mind. She struggled to recall facts and actions.
“And ok, so,” she said, squeezing her eyes tight shut and pinching the bridge of her nose. After many moments of nothing but crickets chirping, she gave up trying to provoke memories that seemed to be missing and instead walked into the bathroom.
She sought her reflection in the gold rimmed mirror that filled the entire wall, laying the certificate on the counter. Her gaze travelled, however, not to her image, but to the red and copper streaks in the lower left corner. She walked to the end of the mirror, leaning close, trying to make out the red and copper markings. Closer inspection revealed them to be smudges that were shaped like, “Lips. Shit, someone kissed up the mirror.”
Her eyes moved up, looping around the shape, then trying to make out the smaller marks in the center of the curved shape.
“That’s...” she trailed off and looked at her fingers, seeing a similar red tint. She backed away a little, gasping as the design solidified into an image. A heart with letters on the inside…
She moved her finger in the air, ghost tracing the shape, speaking slowly as she traced. “N + N + C 4evar.”
“Who the hell...” Nora’s thought evaporated as she finally looked at her own image, her eyes flaring wide. “I think, no, no, I am not thinking because I have no way to explain that,” she thrust her hand at the person in the mirror. She then ran her fingers through her hair, pulling at the blacked strands, pulling one around and in front of her eyes. “Dye job, wonderful, I hope it comes out. If I show up at Jesse’s wedding looking like this, mamma will kill me. I’m going to have to hope Nikki can do makeup magic and fade out these bruises as well as suggest a way to fix this.”
She gingerly poked at her bruised cheek. “Well, knuckles and cheek not looking so hot, hope the other guy got some damage at least,” she half joked, her smile fading as she wiped at the red smudges on her cheek and forehead, confirming they matched the lipstick smudges on the mirror. She looked over at the heart and then down at the certificate. “Nikki.”
She turned, wincing as she stumbled, needing to find Nikki.
It was the snore that tipped her off. Well more of a gurgle and snort, but the sound crackled around the room, leading Nora to her sleeping wife. She looked over the back of the couch, half amazed, half confounded by the sight of her Nikki, dressed in a disheveled wedding dress and veil, curled up on a pile of bedspreads, with a fur coat tucked around her. But it was not the dress, nor the coat, or even the peaceful look on Nikki’s face that drew all of Nora’s attention.
It was the diamond ring on Nikki’s left hand.
The very big diamond ring.
Nora took in a large breath, coughing from the rushing air. Nikki stirred hearing the sound, the brunette groaning and stretching, unfolding like a rose blooming in the morning sunlight.
Nora knelt down beside her sleeping lover, gently taking the veil from the brunette’s head. She smiled as that action pulled Nikki awake, her eyes fluttering open. After a moment, a smile began to form on Nikki’s face as she reached up, stroking along Nora’s cheek. The smile wavered as her fingers plucked at a stranded of the dyed hair, rubbing it between her fingers.
“It seems we had quite a night last night.”
Nikki puckered her lips a bit, her fingers moving from the hair to trace over the bruise on Nora’s face. Her gaze dropped to Nora’s hand, her smile fading completely as she picked up her lover’s hand, her finger tracing around the injuries. “What happened?”
“You don’t know?”
Nikki took in a breath, her eyes closing as she bit her bottom lip. Nora sat back on her legs a bit also worrying her lower lip as she watched Nikki.
“You’re not wearing red lipstick, it’s copper,” Nora murmured as she ran her thumb lightly over Nikki’s upper lip, the brunette puckering up and kissing Nora’s digit.
“No, it seems I am not, is that a problem?”
Nora looked down at the red stains on her shirt. “I... don’t know.”
“Well, it seems we had quite a night, maybe we should try to find some better clothes and figure out what the hell happened?” Nikki offered, tucking a strand of Nora’s hair behind the former blonde’s ear. “And perhaps find a way to return your hair to it’s golden hue.”
“Yeah, I kinda am not liking the ‘Fight Club’ wedding cake look. And if Mamma sees this, I am going to look ten times worse.”
Both women chuckled as Nora stood, pulling Nikki up, her arms wrapping around Nikki’s waist.
Their laughter was interrupted as the door across from them opened, a young woman moving out, yawning and stretching. She rubbed a hand through her hair, rubbing at her bare stomach with her other hand. “Oh hey you two, did either of you order coffee or breakfast? I am famished and have a headache. Although they say sex certainly works better for relieving a headache and hangover than coffee. Any takers?”
Nora and Nikki stared at the woman. Both taking in the fact that the woman was wearing a pair of Planet Hollywood boxers, and nothing else.
Nikki wasn’t sure who cursed, but as the petite redhead approached – no, Nikki amended – stalked towards her and Nora, she didn’t think it really mattered that much. The girl slipped into the small space between Nikki and Nora and snaked an arm around each waist pulling the three of them together.
Nikki felt the burn the redhead’s lips left on the corner of her mouth and tried to come up with a name, an explanation and why she didn’t mind so much that this girl, because in the brunette’s estimation, she was still a girl, had clearly been intimate with her and Nora.
Nikki took a step back and figured if the girl was over twenty-one she’d be amazed.
“Whoa,” Nora balked and moved away from the redhead and caught Nikki’s wide brown eyes.
“C?” the brunette ventured.
A wide grin spread over the redhead’s face and she bobbed her head as she tapped the tip of Nikki’s nose playfully. “Candice, actually, but I prefer Candy.” She winked playfully and added, “Of course, I do occasionally go by God or Jesus Christ if the mood’s right.”
“I think I need to sit,” Nora groaned and made a beeline for one of the chairs in the living room. The blonde dropped into the leather chair, bent over and cradled her aching head in her hands. Hazarding a glance up, she mumbled, “Can you, uh,” Nora waved her hand in Candy’s general direction, “shirt?”
Nikki shrugged. Of everything that was or had happened, Candy topless really was the least of their concerns.
“I would, baby, if you can tell me where you threw it last night?” Candy grinned and winked at Nikki.
Nikki’s mouth opened to respond, but was cut short as she recognized the Debbie Gibson song, Shake Your Love, start up around Nora. Her partner – no, she reminded herself, her wife’s – head shot up and she began patting down her pockets. Finding the phone, Nora pulled it from her inside coat pocket and hit the first button she found, the speaker option, to answer.
“Nora!” Bobby’s angry tone was not masked as he demanded, “Where in the hell are you? Mama’s been running around here wondering why you aren’t in your hotel room, you wouldn’t answer your phone and the wedding starts in less than four hours!” Her brother took a breath and soldiered on, “And Mama’s also carrying on about you and a phone call right after you got married! Married, Nora? What the hell is going on? She’s been asking who you got married to? I swear if you don’t…”
The three women collectively winced at the way Bobby ended his tirade on a shrill note. It caused all three heads to pound a little bit harder. “Bobby,” Nora snapped, “I’ll be there in a few minutes, just, uh, hold mama off and sit tight.” Nora didn’t give her brother a chance to respond before hanging up the phone.
“It’s going to be one of those days,” Nikki groaned and felt Candy begin to rub soothing circles on the small of her back. Nora dropped the phone on the arm of the chair and went back to cradling her head in her upturned palms.
“She’s going to kill me,” Nora groaned, “She’s going to kill me, then use some voodoo to bring me back and then kill me again.”
Nikki ran a hand through her hair, wincing as her fingers caught on some of the knots. Knowing her lover was reaching critical mass; she squared her shoulders and took charge. She moved quickly to kneel beside Nora, hooking a finger under her wife’s chin and tilted Nora’s head up. “Hey, we’ll get through this, like we always do,” she reminded her, “For now, let’s worry about the immediate, getting over to the hotel and getting your hair back to its lovely, golden hue.”
“I have just the idea,” Candy said from the sidelines, “and I was so right, you two really are just so…scrumptious.” The redhead smacked her lips playfully and sauntered away.
Two sets of eyes followed the swaying behind out of the room and shook their heads. “Nikki, I…” Nora tried to start some type of explanation, but couldn’t find the words.
“I know, sugga, I know. We’ll, uh, figure,” she waved her hand towards the bedroom and finished, “her, it, our situation out later. Let’s focus on the wedding. You are in the party after all.”
“We need clothes,” Nora reminded her wife.
“Hmm, that we do, darlin’, that we do,” Nikki agreed her gaze sweeping around the disheveled living room. The couch was pushed into the coffee table, the dining table looked to have something on it, Nikki could only guess at the slick looking substance until her eyes fell upon an overturned bottle of baby oil to answer her questions.
“Let’s go!” Candy exclaimed bouncing into the living room, two purses hanging from her shoulders. She was dressed in a bra, tank top and jeans. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She stopped at the twin looks of confusion and put her hands on her hips.
“Go where?” Nora asked numbly.
“We need to get you back to the other hotel, silly goose. I’ve called a friend, he and a small team of stylists are going to meet us there and then we’ll get you to that other wedding.” Candy beamed at the two and added, “But just between us, nothing’ll beat your wedding. It was just so…sweet and Nora, you were just so romantic,” Candy swooned.
Another look passed between Nikki and Nora before Candy stepped up and took a hand from each woman and pulled them up. “Now, let’s go, I have a car waiting downstairs and Tweety’s probably already there.”
“Clothes?” Nikki and Nora both squeaked as they were being led out of the suite.
“We’ll worry about that later,” Candy waved off the concern.
Nora followed the two women robotically, the impending run in with her mother overtaking her thoughts. She winced as they hit the valet port outside of the hotel. Her eyes grew large at the black, stretch, Cadillac limo Candy started climbing into. Nikki followed and motioned for Nora to follow. As the driver shut the door behind her, Candy climbed and stretched out over her and Nikki’s lap, purring, “So we have like fifteen minutes, what do you ladies say about a quickie?” The redhead’s manicured nail traced the cleft of Nora’s chin before she leaned in and nipped the tip. “Maybe a repeat of our ride from the chapel to Planet Hollywood?”
Nora’s eyes slammed shut as a wave of images flooded her hungover mind. ~I am so fucked~
Slowly, Nora reached out and gathered Nikki’s hair, pulling it back off her face as the brunette’s lips peppered endearingly sloppy kisses to the tops and insides of her naked thighs. She watched through drooped eyelids before closing them completely, laying her head back on the soft leather of the limo’s seat and enjoying the feel of Nikki loving her.
The warmth of the alcohol ran up her spine and muddled her thoughts. Right now the only thing she could think about clearly was the touches of her lover…
No, Nora corrected herself, her wife.
They just came from the chapel and Candy was there.
Where was Candy?
Nora’s eyelids cracked open and she looked down at Nikki whose ministrations had stopped stoking the fire between Nora’s thighs to arch back into Candy’s touch. Both women were kneeling in front of her on the limo floor. Nikki’s dress was bunched up over her hips and the panties Candy had bought for her were twisted around the tops of Nikki’s knees.
Candy was behind Nikki, free of clothing and working her left hand down the front of Nikki’s dress. Nora watched with renewed focus as Candy pushed the top of the dress down and freed Nikki’s left breast to pinch and roll the erect nipple through her small hands.
Groaning, Nora couldn’t deny the ache pulsing between her legs. Lazily, her left hand crept over her exposed hip and threaded through wiry hair. She groaned along with Nikki, her own hand mirroring the actions of Candy’s right as they both slipped through slick folds to circle distended clits.
Nikki pushed back into her new lover and found a waiting mouth. Nora watched the kiss deepen as Candy’s hands played with her wife. Needing to touch them somehow, she extended her left leg and rubbed up and down Nikki’s thigh. Not breaking the kiss, Nikki reached and tugged on Nora’s ankle to pull her forward.
Unable to deny her, Nora slipped onto the floor and gently pressed against Nikki. The brunette didn’t miss a beat when she let Nora’s ankle go and slipped it between her wife’s thighs. She toyed with slick folds before slipping inside her wife, curling her fingers as she pulled out.
Nora’s thighs quivered as they strained to keep her upright. Nikki broke off the kiss with Candy and turned her eager lips to her wife, covering Nora’s parted lips with her own to thrust her tongue inside her wife’s mouth.
Trying to find purchase, Nora reached out and found Candy her hands trailed up from hips to a trim waist, over the redhead’s ribs and cupped small, firm breasts. Trying her best to keep some semblance of control, Nora focused her attentions on bringing Candy with her and Nikki to the edge. She toyed with a firm mound of flesh while her left hand went south, to play with Candy’s sex.
As Nora’s hand slipped between the redhead’s legs, Nikki’s ministrations between her own legs increased and she was unable to stop herself from going over the edge. Nikki felt the change in her wife and pushed faster, her own hips picking up the tempo of her thrusts. Breaking away from Nora’s mouth, she grinned as she suckled and kissed Nora’s neck riding out her wife’s orgasm and her own. She shuddered and bucked along with the blonde in front of her. Her legs finally gave out and Nora fell on top of her.
They tumbled back into the redhead and she eased them down together, slipping out from under Nikki to the side. Nora rested her head on Nikki’s chest while her hand went back to seeking out Candy.
The redhead happily obliged, spreading her legs further to give the blonde better access in the tight quarters they found themselves. She threw a leg over her partners and braced herself against the bench seats along the side of the interior of the limo.
Nikki watched on as Nora expertly pushed Candy to the edge of release and tossed her over. Her eyes never left the sight of Nora’s hand working the coppered covered sex of their new lover. She only broke her gaze when Candy’s leg dropped from the seat and she slumped over, spent and shaking into Nikki’s other side.
Just as the memory receded, the limo came to a stop and Nora felt Nikki’s hand in her own, giving her a squeeze.
“We’re here,” Candy announced as she climbed off her lovers’ laps and opened the door.
Nora stalled as she looked out at the front of their hotel.
“Come on, Nor,” Nikki urged, “Let’s go get your hair fixed up and let me worry about damage control.”
Nora shook her head and stammered, “Ma…my mom’s in there,” she pointed to the building, “knowing that I’ve gotten married and she doesn’t even know who to.”
Nikki frowned as her lover’s brow scrunched together. She swallowed down the hurt building up and managed to say, “Nora, we can…I’m not even sure if our marriage is even…”
A finger pressed against her lips stopped Nikki from finishing her sentence. Nora shook her head and sighed. “Please don’t say what I think you were going to say. There’s…I can’t even remember last night. Bits and pieces, but most of it’s a blank. I’m not sure what I’m feeling right now, but I’ve been rolling around the word wife in my head an awful lot since I got our marriage certificate. The idea’s growing on me and we’re going to need to figure that out.” Nora’s eyes closed as she admitted and asked, “Just please don’t take that from me right now?”
Nikki kissed the finger pressed against her lips and nodded. “Come on,” she urged and pushed Nora out of the limo, “I need to get my wife’s hair back to its natural color and try to stave off an attack from an overbearing, but well-meaning mother-in-law.”
Nora couldn’t stop the grin as she followed Nikki out of the limo even if she had wanted to.